When Your Spouse Is Resisting a Cooperative Divorce
“He thinks I’m going to persuade you or convince you in some way to take my side in the mediation because I spoke with you first.”
The husband was telling me this as a part of a conversation about why his wife wouldn’t discuss with me the possibility of scheduling a mediation to start their divorce.
Mediation is a voluntary process, and it’s not uncommon for one of the spouses to resist moving forward. This can happen for many reasons, and it is frustrating for the spouse who is ready to start the divorce process in a cooperative manner.
In most cases, a divorce starts with each spouse believing the other spouse has done something wrong. Then, in mediation, we are asking them to reach an agreement with the “enemy” – the same person who disrespected them to begin with.
Although mediation is a dispute resolution process, the existing divorce anxiety is heightened by the prospect of having to negotiate towards settlement.
There are ways, however, to reduce the anxiety and convince your spouse to consider mediation for your divorce. It starts with clearly explaining the benefits.
Let your spouse know saving money and saving your family from destruction is your highest priority. That you prefer to work together in a cooperative manner. That you prefer to control the fate of your family together rather than have a Judge do it for you.
The husband was telling me this as a part of a conversation about why his wife wouldn’t discuss with me the possibility of scheduling a mediation to start their divorce.
Mediation is a voluntary process, and it’s not uncommon for one of the spouses to resist moving forward. This can happen for many reasons, and it is frustrating for the spouse who is ready to start the divorce process in a cooperative manner.
In most cases, a divorce starts with each spouse believing the other spouse has done something wrong. Then, in mediation, we are asking them to reach an agreement with the “enemy” – the same person who disrespected them to begin with.
Although mediation is a dispute resolution process, the existing divorce anxiety is heightened by the prospect of having to negotiate towards settlement.
There are ways, however, to reduce the anxiety and convince your spouse to consider mediation for your divorce. It starts with clearly explaining the benefits.
- Mediation is more cost effective than litigation
- Mediators are less expensive than attorneys
- Mediation can eliminate areas of dispute
- Mediation opens communication and clarifies goals
- Mediations result in successful long-term shared plans
- Mediations set families up for success rather than destroying them
- Mediators are trained to help you view things a different way and to focus on solutions
Let your spouse know saving money and saving your family from destruction is your highest priority. That you prefer to work together in a cooperative manner. That you prefer to control the fate of your family together rather than have a Judge do it for you.